Rising from the Ashes: My Journey as a Modern Medicine Woman Healing a Broken Heart

Written by: Meleesa Ferris



Time to read 7 min

Although we are only a few months into 2024, for me, the year has already been full of shifts and spirals. It's been a time of deep transformation, and I am reminded of the resilience that resides within each of us. I've come to realize that it is necessary to experience metaphorical deaths to experience deep transformation and rebirth. While change isn't always easy, it is essential if we wish to experience growth and metamorphosis. There is no expansion without contraction, and it is these lessons that have inspired me to open my heart and share a piece of my journey with you so that you, too, may feel strength and hope, even amid heartache, and so you can know that you are not alone. 

When the year began, I had no idea that I would soon be faced with one of my most significant lessons - a lesson in surrender. This lesson came to me through the ending of a cherished relationship that held a deep and sacred place in my heart. When I faced the reality of this connection was changing and shifting, it felt like I was entering the valley of the shadow of death, or as my friend Luo humorously put it, "the pits of hell." I found myself grappling with my inner child, who was triggered by emotions of abandonment and loss. 

Even though I've been doing my inner work, or shadow work, for years, there were moments of such intense shock and grief that they overwhelmed me and left me feeling as though my spirit had vacated my body.

It felt as if everything was happening at once. I had just returned from an incredible and soul-renewing journey to Guatemala, where I studied herbalism and plant magic with wonderful healers and Indigenous Mayans.

Herbalist book

So many seeds of inspiration were planted in me during this journey, and yet I arrived home to the news that shook me to my core. I felt for a time as though I didn't know how to cope, but once the shock passed, I was reminded of my chest of tools - the wisdom of my herbal allies that I have gathered throughout my life and the deep-rooted faith that there's something bigger out there that is holding me. 

I gained strength from knowing that there is a beautiful community of other light humans who can support me in times of sorrow. This is the deepest manifestation of my new philosophy on beauty vibration – shifting with events and cycles in life and finding the beauty in all of them, even the painful ones, because they are all part of our sacred journey. 


The power of community and positive intention

So, how did I survive this ordeal? Firstly, I leaned on the power of my community, prayer, and meditation. I asked those closest to me to hold me in their thoughts, prayers, and meditations. I asked for support by checking in on me regularly, which provided a lifeline of support. Whether you call it prayer, affirmations, positive intention, or simply seeking solace in the company of loved ones, there's undeniable power in collective energy. Prayer and meditation have  been proven to help reduce stress and anxiety and encourage positive shifts in mood. It also helps to manage pain – emotionally and physically.  

Trust the Journey Candle

There is a divine power in knowing you don't have to fix everything on your own, you don't have to "make it work," and you can just surrender to the flow. Imagining yourself floating in a calm river, just being carried by the current, is a powerful meditation for letting go. There are curves, ripples, and riptides and places when the flow is so slow that you are barely moving, but ultimately, the river will carry you where you need to go.

When I was able to let go and approached it from a place of love and kindness, everything started to shift in ways I never imagined.

If you're interested in one of my favorite guided meditations, follow me on Instagram and message me. I will share a recording that you can listen to whenever you need support surrendering to the flow of the universe.

My superheroes: five plant allies for times of grief, death, and rebirth

In addition to prayer, I leaned heavily on my training in herbalism and the wisdom of my ancestors. Healing myself with thepower of plant magic was the perfect opportunity to put the wisdom I had gathered into practice and truly embody the archetype of the magician and the modern-day medicine woman. One of my teachers and mentors suggested that challenging times are the perfect way to get close to your herbal allies.

During my travels to Guatemala, I connected deeply with Cacao by studying ancestral Mayan knowledge. Cacao is Heart Medicine. Mayan legends tell us that whenever there is an imbalance between humans and nature, Cacao comes from the rainforest to open people's hearts and return the planet to a state of harmony. Some shamans consider Cacao to be the “food of the shift.” Soon, with the help of Cacao, my heart began to thaw and become unfrozen. 

Cacao Pod

Spend Time in Nature

I relied heavily on lavender, tulsi, rose, chamomile, and Cacao. Lavender is very common, but don't underestimate her power! This fragrant flower assisted me with relaxing my mood and opening my heart. She supports us in fresh starts and rebirth and encourages us to walk in alignment with our souls. Tulsi, known as Holy Basil, has long been used for its energetic and healing properties. It is an herb of abundance and beauty and medicinally treats headaches and strongly supports  reductions in stress and anxiety. 


One of my favorite allies, the rose, is a vital ingredient in La. BOTANICA's luxurious  Clearvoyant Facial Toning Mist , which I continuously sprayed not only to hydrate and tone my pores but to connect to my heart energy! Roses helped me come back to a place of self-love and open my heart, not just for myself but for those who were causing me pain. It opens us to giving and receiving love. In the same way that a rose can help energetically heal a bruised heart, medicinally, it acts as a healer of wounds and bruises on our physical bodies. It builds collagen and provides antioxidants that help  boost circulation and immunity . The vibration of unconditional love soothed, calmed, and centered me. As the saying goes, make sure to stop and smell the roses! 

Chamomile  is comforting in the way a dear friend of a loved one is comforting during tough times, which is why I included it in my favorite  Lunar Energy Hair Potion.  Nothing takes the edge off of a stressful day and eases the body and mind into a state of peace quite like a cup of chamomile tea. Medicinally, chamomile is an excellent healer of the gut and helps with issues like stomach upset. The gut is the second brain, so when I am stressed, my gut often reacts to irritation and inflammation. Calming my anxiety with chamomile also helps with soothing my digestion. 

These powerful allies offered me incredible support as I processed the grief and loss associated with the ending of my relationship and helped me to let go and move through my emotions so that I may prepare for the inevitable rebirth that takes place after deep loss. 


But perhaps the most profound healer of all was Mother Nature herself. Nature is the ultimate source of Mother-love and I carved out lots of time to experience her healing throughout this process. Witnessing how the flowers emerge in the transition from winter is a powerful metaphor for death and rebirth in our lives. I allowed the rain to wash me as I lay in grassy fields amongst the trees in my local park and took long walks on the beach with my dogs while looking at the sky and contemplating the vast and ever-changing nature of existence.

Even the clouds spoke to me and helped me navigate through this time of the death of a part of myself. Now, I am shedding that old skin that no longer serves me and beginning to see the light and meaning in everything, even the challenges I've experienced this year. Everything has happened not to me, but for me. Like the spring flowers, I am ready to bloom!

Shedding old skin and embracing rebirt

The INTUITIVE Beauty Space I've always dreamed of emerged from this journey —a sanctuary of self-love. A place where holistic hair experiences, plant magic, community, and ancestral wisdom uplift and nurture the soul, reminding us that even in our darkest moments, there is always a glimmer of light. Over the past month, I've moved into a beautiful new workspace in Southern California, where I will soon offer a variety of new Intuitive Beauty services, both in person and virtually, to help you embrace your unique beauty vibration. I’m so excited to share this with you soon! 

INTUITIVE Beauty Space

I invite you to join me on this beautiful journey.

As I reflect on this tumultuous chapter of my life, I'm filled with gratitude for the big and small miracles that have guided me along the way. Through surrender and resilience, I've discovered the true essence of beauty vibrations—the beauty that lies in embracing life's imperfections and finding strength in vulnerability.

So, to anyone navigating their darkness, know you are not alone. Reach out, lean on your support system, and trust in the power of surrender. Sometimes, it is in our darkest moments that we find the strength to truly shine. I am always here for you. If you're going through a similar period of death and rebirth, I would love to hear from you! Please reach out to me on Instagram or join me for one of my upcoming herbalism classes and workshops. If you haven't already done so,  sign up for our newsletter  and  SMS updates  so you don't miss all the exciting events we have planned this year. 

Pura Vida! 

Meleesa Luna